Over the past year-and-a-half, I have gone from being extremely high to the lowest of low—and one thing that has been consistent is FEAR. You try to take a few steps forward and somehow something sets you back. I recently heard someone say, no matter what, keep pursuing that desire that is on the inside of you. Maybe fear tries to place us in holding until we’ve learned our lesson. Either way there is, indeed, a lesson to be learned.
Today, I completed my first race in almost two years. To many it was a shock, because they saw me on such a high running different races, planning out Run Disney costumes, and sharing what’s next on my race calendar. I think people forget that unexpected life change can affect people differently. Some people who enjoyed running as much as I did can keep going and use it as fuel to heal, while others stare that pain right in the face as they scrounge to figure out…”What next?”
To be honest, I still can’t believe I did it. It has been a struggle to get my body to line up with what was in my heart. Fear did that to me. I also know that I allowed it because I wasn’t quite ready to relinquish it. Fear had me believing that something that once brought me so much joy could never be revived.
That was a lie.
What I do know is that I have to keep pursing the desires in my heart and eventually fear will grow tired.